Babble-On: Kikhwa's Blog

[Kikhwa]

I just flew back from San Francisco and boy are my wings tired! Harty har.

Eff you to whoever came up with that dumb joke.

San Francisco is gorgeous. It doesn't look like your typical American city. Everything is built in clusters and on hills. It's all uphill and downhill hiking. The city reminded me a lot of Istanbul. I was having 'Stambool flashbacks everytime we drove through a named alley (they name their alleys!).

SF is a great place to visit. It's very compact and easy to get around. There are 15 neighborhoods in the city's 40 square miles. All the different neighborhoods are just a couple streets away from each other.

My favorite district (another snazzy SF name for 'hood) was Castro, a prodominantly gay community. I spent Halloween with my friends in Castro. All the drag queens were out that night and for some reason were fawning over me. A couple of them spotted me in a crowd of people who wanted to take a picture with them and pulled me over by them.

"Oh honey, you're gorgeous! Come here!"

Could it have been the natural boobs they were covetting? Who knows. The ladies were darling.

More on SF later. Maybe even some pictures if you're good.

[Emma_Girl]

You're freakin hilarious!

Show me pics! I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. :love: :love: :love: :love:

[Kikhwa]

lol Emma.

I'll post some as soon as they're scanned!

[Kikhwa]

Limewire Lovin'

--

I got my dsl connection working finally after 3 long months and the first thing on my internet to-do list was download music.

Here's my list of gankedTunes of the day:

Depeche Mode: Only When I Lose Myself

Deep Dish: Flash Dance

Moby: Sunday (The Day Before My Birthday)

ATB: It's A Fine Day

Frankie Goes To Hollywood: Relax (Techno remix)

Depeche Mode : Enjoy the Silence (DJ Sasha and John Digweed remix)

Madonna: Hung Up

Nine Inch Nails : Only

Daft Punk: Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger

[Kikhwa]

http://www.koh-dm.com/dave_wife93.jpg

I'm enamored by Dave Gahan's gigantic schnozz.

[Kikhwa]

Now presenting, The Freakshow in Castro


Picture 1: The word of the lord? I don't think so.

[Kikhwa]

The Freakshow In Castro continued...

Picture 2: Satan stalker.

This guy was following me throughout the freakshow.

[Kikhwa]

THe Freakshow In Castro continued...

Picture 3: Not your typical threesome. Everyone knows that the people in San Francisco are very liberal, but damn, who would have thought they'd be this liberal.

[Kikhwa]

The Freakshow in Castro continued.

Picture 4: The Divas. I'd sell my ovaries for the legs on those bitches.

[Kikhwa]

Interesting email:


Sex by the Stars

--

Aries women:
Wildly sensual, passionate and adventurous. You'll have sex anywhere, you know what you want - intense and frequent sex, you have a need for complete control, but you're also in love with love. As a mate, you are ardent, loyal, sentimental, and earthly. Biggest thrill - the tickle of a man's facial fuzz.

Taurus women:
You expect your man to be kind and patient and make love to you by the book. Like to be pleased by sex, but don't look for unusual approaches. But you are a demanding lover and you leave your partner breathless. You have a need for oral gratification, both giving and receiving. Best sex mates: Cancer, Virgo, Sagittarius, Scorpio, and Leo. Most likely kink: sucking on your toes, one by one. You also like biting...hmmmm!

Gemini women:
Often the aggressor; you are never embarrassed by your behavior because you never adhere to any standards except your own. Your main requirement: a lover who knows how to take his time. You are a one woman harem, but a partner should be aware that in a relationship, the gemini woman is looking for a combination of the spiritual and the physical, the romantic and the practical. You want to talk to the guy after you tumble with
him! Best sex mates are Leo, Scorpio, Aquarians, Libra, and Aries. Favorite gadget: the vibrator.

Cancer women:
Will never make the first move, but can be a marvelous lover for you. She is capable of intense sensuality. You will reciprocate passion with a fervor that will stir his heart and stimulate him to his best performance. On your own time, you have a fondness for masturbation. Your favorite position: lying prone while your man enters you from behind. Best sex mates: Taurus, Leo, Virgo, Scorpio, and Pisces. You may become a slave to sexual pleasure!

Leo women:
Sleek, lascivious, enticing and lazy! Whatever Leo wants, Leo gets! Intensely responsive and there are bed-partners who have scars to prove it. Your need to show off leads you to prefer the top where he can look up and admire the beauty of your body. Best sex mates: Libra, Scorpio, Sagittarius, Aries. Your sexual wardrobe: full of wispy cut-out bras and panties!

Virgo women:
You have no illusions about sex and wish everyone would stop magnifying its importance. Prefer men who will wait for the relationship to develop to the point where sex is inevitable. You love mutual masturbation and enjoy a little punishment, and your grace and modesty is a great turn on. You become an artist at pleasing your lover. Favorite kink: can't truly enjoy it unless a third party is present. Best sex mates: Gemini, Cancer and Aquarians.

Libra women:
Drama is the key word - you set the stage for sex. Intensely feminine and an instinctive exhibitionist. You feel your body was made to be seen and admired. Feel that seduction is an art, not an assault. When approached the right way, you find it easy to say yes to almost anything. Unusual control of vaginal muscles. Best sex mates: Aries, Gemini, Leo, Scorpio, Sagittarius, and Aquarius. Like any position where your buttocks are exposed.

Scorpio women:
Inquisitive, searching, and experimental. Knows that eroticism consists of more than the physical act of lovemaking. While looking like a perfect lady in public, you dress and behave like a whore in the bedroom. Control of the orgasm is very important and will try anything to help your man maintain his potency. You never take no for an answer and when interested in someone, you will pursue him with determination and guile. Best sex
mates: Gemini, Cancer, Virgo, Scorpio, Pisces. Props you love: scented body oils, flavored lubricating gels, and vibrators.

Sagittarius women:
You like the outdoors - freaking out if you are in a tent, camper, or on the beach. You enjoy sex, but you don't like to prolong the
preliminaries and want to start the main show as soon as possible. Like to tease your partner to the point of losing control. You don't mind if your man comes too quickly - you are a generous and accepting lover. Best sex mates: Leo, Libra, and Aquarius. Your sexual wardrobe will consist of accessories -
gloves and shoes!

Capricorn women:
Don't need much foreplay - you go from zero to WOW in nothing flat! Not interested in exotic variation; only staying in power. Since you like to dominate, you like to be astride your man, set a rhythm, and please yourself. Once into the rhythm, lovemaking becomes a wild contest with orgasm as the prize and you can depend on getting there more than once. Also a scratcher and a screamer. Best sex mates: Taurus, Virgo, Scorpio and Pisces.

Aquarius women:
A slow starter, you idealize love and encompass it with tenderness. Once aroused though, anything goes! Extremely imaginative and likes trying new things. There is nothing in any sex manual that you won't try. Belief that anything that increases the pleasure for your partner is worthwhile. Best sex mates: Aries, Gemini, Libra, Sagittarius, and Aquarius. Favorite sex position: standing up, and in water.

Pisces women:
Always make the right moves, say the right things, and create the right ambiance. You are sexually liberated and enjoy a wide range of eroticism. If his fantasies coincide with yours, the action can really get torrid! You seldom say no to anything your lover suggests! Favorite places: in a waterbed or hot tub. Best sex mates: Cancer, Virgo, Scorpio, Capricorn, Pisces.

[Kikhwa]

http://a1472.g.akamaitech.net/f/1472/124/4h/images.ebags.com/img/sq250/7/48957_29409_459_0.jpg

Behold: the epitome of pedestrial couture.

They're Stuart Weitzmans and they're mine.

I got my new babies today and wore them around the house for an hour. I pranced. I catwalked. I even vogued with them on my hands.

It's shoes like these that perpetuate the female shoe obsession.

[Kikhwa]

I'm feeling really nostalgic tonight.

I miss 'Stambool.

---

The Amca

(Amca is Turkish for 'uncle'. It's pronounced ahm-jah.)

I miss him.

http://pantransit.reptiles.org/images/2001-01-07/crying04.png

The Amca was my Superman in Istanbul.

He came to the rescue numerous times when Aziza and I got ourselves in trouble traveling through Eastern, South Eastern Turkey, and in Istanbul.

I stayed in Istanbul by myself for a few days after Aziza returned to Chicago. When Aziza and I returned to 'Stanbul from the East, we were going to be out of an apartment. Her lease was up two days after we got back. We were planning on looking for a hotel to stay in for our last few days in the country.

However, we had bigger problems ahead.

[Insert nefarious Apartment Guy here.]

http://www.badmovies.org/movies/leprechaun/leprechaun8.jpg

Oh look. There he is.

The funny thing is that as we walked up to the apartment door when we came back from the East, Aziza and I were greeted by a newly deposited, lumpy, steaming turd that looked like it exited from a human body rather than the neighborhood cats. We should have perceived that as a sign of things to come.

Upon our return from the East, Aziza was supposed to get her deposit back from the insidious Apartment Guy. That didn't happen. The events that followed the realization we were trying to be swindled consisted of several exchanges of I'm-gonna-knock-you-out-you-mother-****ing-**** stares between Aziza & I and the evil Apartment Guy & his equally evil, Grinch-Twin of a wife; several incomprehensible conversations in Turkish, English and French; and numerous phone calls to The Amca.

Apartment Guy was giving even The Amca a hard time. So The Amca had to have a sitdown with Aziza so that he had all the correct and necessary information as well as the lease to the apartment in his hands.

After a bottle of wine and a pack of ciggies, we get a phone call from The Amca telling us to get ready because he was on his way to pick us up to go out and eat. Both Aziza and I were under the influence of those very bad things I mentioned at the beginning of this paragraph. I more so than Aziza. The Amca was aware of our drunkenness as soon as he walked through the door of the 'partment. Aziza did an amazing job composing herself. I was controllably unstable.

http://capitaledutainment.tripod.com/sitebuildercontent/sitebuilderpictures/just_say_no.jpg

The Amca walked out first and got to his car that was parked right outside of the apartment. I was second to walk out. Now, I must explain that the couple steps in front of apartment building were wet. Someone had hosed and scrubbed the steps of the apartment. Remember the dog crap?

Well anyway, I put one foot on the step and the next thing I knew I was on the floor in a numbing pain. Aziza ran from behind me to see if I was ok. Then The Amca walked over from his car. They both thought it was an ankle injury but my ankle, from what I could feel, was fine. So Aziza walked me over to the car and I just collapsed into the back seat: a casualty of drunkeness, careless housing maintainance, and the evil eye. I don't remember much of the car ride.

The Amca took us to a restaurant in Bebek near the university. I just remember hobbling my way to the table, sitting down, and looking at my toe, which by this time was pulsating. Uh oh. So The Amca asked the waiter for some ice and the poor guy brought back a cold can of Coke. They had no ice.

I was not going to put a can of Coke on my frikkin toe. My tolerance for my own embarassment had reached its limit.

Aziza wanted to speak to The Amca privately, not sure about what, so they stepped outside of the restaurant for a few minutes. When they returned, I was damn near passed out, face first into the manti (this pasta-like dish thing). It was time to head home.

Fast forward to our last day at the crapartment. (The days in between are a blurrr since they were spent boozing and smoking.)

The pain in my toe had not decreased and neither did the swelling.

I don't remember how this happened but it was decided that Aziza and I were going to stay at The Amca's house until Aziza's last day. Then I'd check into a hotel in one of the touristy areas so that I wouldn't have to walk very far to site-see. On Aziza's last day in 'Stambool, we went to a nargile cafe and chit chatted for awhile. The Amca, being the saint that he is, offered his home for me to stay at until I left. I almost shrivelled up like the wicked witch of the East (or West, or whatever the **** direction she hails from) out of sheer constraint.

I was gunna die of embarrassment.

It was like having a familiar authoritative figure coming to your rescue in an unfamiliar environment. He was there in place of my uncle. So for the next few days, he took care of moi like one.

As blushingly embarassed as I was, I was also really grateful. His generosity to a stranger (me) deserves to be made known 'round the globe. This is my megaphone as I stand atop a mountain.

[Kikhwa]

I'm still lamenting over memories of my Turkish travels...

---


Southeast Celebrity Sitings

http://photos1.blogger.com/img/27/1973/400/SaddoInUrfa.jpg

Saddam in Urfa, 2004

Aziza and I backpacked through the East and Southeast Turkey in the summer of 2004. While we were in Sanliurfa, we stayed at a hotel manned by Ibn-Bitch, the pervy receptionist from Jahenem. At this hotel, like every hotel we stayed in, the receptionist took our passports upon check in to copy down our information. That is how Ibn-Bitch found out that I was concieved and born on the once-fertile soil of Iraq.

After we had returned from exploring the streets of beautiful Sanliurfa, Ibn-Bitch's bellboy (the young gentleman pictured above) ran up to me and said something in Turkish that translated to "Come upstairs! Your president is here!! Your president is here!" I thought, if this guy was trying to seduce me with a picture of GWBiatch, I'll have to knee him in the groin.

I follow Bellboy up the stairs. Bellboy opens the door to the dining area and lo and behold, there sitting on one of the couches is Grizzly sAddam himself. Or what looked like Saddam after he was excavated from his little underground asshole. The similarities were uncanny! This version of Saddam came with the gnarly crustache and shit flies that Hide & Seek Saddam was known for.

Hope he's in SanliUrfa on my next visit. Maybe I could get him to sign my Iraqi passport.

[Kikhwa]

F*cked Facts to Know and Tell about Kikhwa

Fact #1. I love to pop pimples- my own and those on the faces (and bodies) of other people. I spend several minutes a day with my face almost pressed up against a mirror trying to get those suckers (even if they don't even exist). I'm not grossed out by much so I have no problem getting a little puss on my nails as I pop other people's pimples. My sisters are afraid of me. I've been known to run after them after I've spotted avolcanic zit on the verge of eruption. I also spent most of my downtime on my trip to Turkey popping Aziza's and my own pimples. It was so much fun.

Fact #2. I'm very impulsive. When I'm restless, have a jolt of energy, or even when anxious, I have to make a change and I've got to do it fast. On several occassions I've given myself a drastic hair cut, hacking off several inches of my long tresses. I've also dyed my hair several shades on a whim.

Fact #3. My room has never been completely neat for more than 24 hours. I have next to no closet space and my drawers are the size your high school gym locker. I can't help it if my clothes are everywhere!!!

Fact #4. I'm a sucker for a hairy chest. On a man. Depending on my mood, and the guy, the hairer the better. Grizzly Adams, yum.

Fact #5. I'm terrible when it comes to car maintaintance. My car has one working headlight since March. Also, the car has sounded like it's about to explode. Wonder what it could be...

[Kikhwa]

Have Uterus, Will Produce

No, I won't.

I've decided to not have children. Not because of the excruciating pain of childbirth. Not because they make too much noise. And certainly not because they smell.

I've decided not to bear any children because they'll cramp my fabulously frivolous lifestyle. I don't want to sit around the house worrying about whether my newly exited bundle of joy is a likely candidate for SIDS. And who wants to be yanked from their beauty sleep multiple times a night by a wailing, snot-faced potato that leaks from every oriface.

I like sleeping in on days off and spending money on shoes and candy for myself. I like being at this comfortable level of irresponsibility that comes with being 25 (I think).

I can't be bothered to be bothered. *snub*

--

One of the execs at work came in with the new sprout after a few weeks of maternity leave. She looks fabulous. There is no evidence of 9 months of grueling gestation on that woman. The child was shiny and cute. A sight of heaven. Naturally, all the women there were crowded around her and the diaper cooing and gushing. All the young, childless married women were targetting by the matriarchal veterans as 'next in line for a baby!' I, being unwed and unattached, looked at the baby, squeezed his fat little foot, poked his blubbery cheek and walked away. Even amidst that post-natal excitement, my ovaries still aren't twitching for a baby.

[Kikhwa]

R.I.P.

Now, I don't normally kill songs as easily as my best friend does (I'll throw the cd player out the window the next time I hear Youm Wara Youm by Cheb Mami and Samira Said). However, I do have a list of songs I can't ever listen to again because I've played them so many times, they make me cringe like Pavlov's puppy.

I cannot ever listen to:

Brand New Day by Sting: When this cd came out so many years ago, I rushed to Target to get it ASAP! I've always been a big fan of Sting and this cd didn't disappoint. Brand New Day was my favorite song on there so I played it for all it was worth. I slept to it at night and I woke up to it in the morning like a hot new lova. Then like every unhealthy relationship, I grew tired of monotony that it brought to my life, so I dumped it's ass and never looked back!

Youm Wara Youm by Samira Said and Cheb Mami: This song took over the Arab music universe. It was played on every Arabic music channel and fed through to our homes through Arabic satellite. Cheb Mami is the dude who sang Desert Rose with Sting. 'Nuff said about him. Samira Said is a hottie boom bottie but I'm not too enthusiastic about her vocal skillz. They both sound like a Special Olympics version of the Chipmunks. My best friend and my aunt have drilled that song into my brain and now it's rotten.

Chicago Soundtrack: I love this movie and I still love the soundtrack but I can't listen to it na'more. Catherine Zeta- Jones is not only gorgeous and has mad acting skillz, but she can sing too. I had this soundtrack on repeat more times than a kid with Toret's says "F*ck you." I really didn't want to get sick of it, but you can only relate to a 1920s crime theme for about 5 minutes.

I'm Like a Bird by Nelly Furtado: I killed it only moments after I heard it. When I first heard the song, I loved it and was hooked. So I played it on repeat for 10 minutes, then threw the cd out' the window.

In Da Club by 50Cent: Goddamn, he's so hot. Ok, got that out of the way. In Da Club was the theme song to last year's summer for me. There was no where that I went that didn't play this song. The one time I went to church last summer, I could have sworn I heard the choir humming the tune while the priest was handing out communion. Also, Beyonce buried this song even deeper into it's grave by making her own version. GAG.

Akhasmak Ah by Plastic Nancy Ajram: The accordian in that song send shivers down my spine each of the 74 times a night that song is played at my favorite nargilla cafe. Much like Nancy herself, the song was cute and bouncy the first 5 times I heard it. Then it's flair deflated like her cheek implants.

[Kikhwa]

miTunes

Music evokes a lot of memories for me. I like certain songs not because they sound great but because they're connected to a very fond memory or a special person.

I've compiled a list of songs that remind of some people in my life and some people who were in my life.

------

Innocente by Delerium: my best friend Aziza.
Delerium is very much her theme music. Delerium incorporates a plethora of different sounds to create it's unique brand of music. Thats not very far from how Aziza is. She's composed of many different aspects of many different cultures that she's gotten to know all through her life. Either that or she's a freakin' schitzophrenic who thinks she's Ali from Afghanistan one day and Aysu from Turkey another day. Crazy biatch.

Bir Derdim Var by Mor ve Otesi: The Amca.
Aziza, The Amca, his hot friend and I were at Mojo (an alternative rock club in Istanbul). Mojo is by far the best club I've ever been to because the music was so diverse in its rockness. They played U2, Bon Jovi, Chili Peppers, Nirvana, NIN, and a whole mess of Turkish rock. Bir Derdim Var was played there and it's a damn good song. Very depressing like The Amca can be!

In the Shadows by The Rasmus : Pinar, The Amca's adorable cousin.
She was full of personality and spunk. I went clubbing with her a couple times and both times, I remember this song being played at the venues.

Annem by some Turkish chick: my very good friend Iris.
Iris personifies the word goddess. She's strong, intelligent and goddamn beautiful (knocking on wood). The song is sultry and sexy like she is. Too bad the song isn't about what we think (sex) it's about (it's about momma- gag).

Salam by Hakim: Crazy ass friend Naved.
Because the song and the singer are as silly as he is. Naved is completely off the wall. Naved has no shame and gets himself into all sorts of trouble. ON PURPOSE. Also, if you've ever seen the video to this song, you'll remember that it's basically Hakim walking around the streets of Cairo saying Salam alaikum to everyone he sees. That's it. That's Naved. He goes up to random folks and yaps.

Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger by Daft Punk: My friend Hamid.
If I told you why, then I'd have to kill you. Just kidding! He's a major techno freak. He dejays and he told me everything I know about Daft Punk.

[Kikhwa]

Turkify Me

http://photos1.blogger.com/img/27/1973/320/TurkeyYilderay.jpg

My guy: Yilderay.


We met at the bus station in Amasya.

My friend and I were sitting in seats behind the ticket desk while being entertained by Tarkan, the 26 year old ticket vendor with a charming, leathery face . Tarkan was called away from our amusement by the Black Sea version of a golden Adonis. After this creature bought his ticket, Tarkan waved him over to sit with us. Yilderay was his name although he didn't introduce himself when he sat down. Nor did he look at my friend and I.

Tarkan incorporated him into our conversation by asking him where he was headed to. It turned out that Yilderay had just finished his military service in Amasya and was returning home to Rize to marry his fiancee. Two years in the army- that explained the beautiful tan. He wasn't a man of many words though, not that it would have made a difference since I don't speak Turkish, nor he English.

Yilderay kept looking in my direction while taking long drags from his cigarette. His green-eyed stare was electric.

Tarkan offered us a cigarette. I didn't accept. Then Yilderay offered me one - I took it. I put the cigarette between my lips and he brought the lighter to my cigarette and lit it. Our eyes were locked that entire moment. I thanked him with a smile.

Thanks to the linguistic/translating skills of my friend Aziza who speaks Turkish, we all managed to understand that Yilderay was headed in the same direction Aziza and I. Tarkan volunteered Yilderay as our keeper on the bus. It was very sweet of Tarkan to look after my friend and I. I will always remember his kindness.

We bid farewell to Tarkan. His last words of advice were to drink Cola Turka. He said it would magically enable me to speak Turkish.

Yilderay walked with Aziza and I to the bus. After he had shown us our seats, he then walked us over to where he would be sitting. He wasn't but 3 seats in front of us. He said that he'd sit with us until the bus fills up on it's way and then he would have to return to his seat.

We were in for a 12 hour bus ride to Trabzon. Yilderay would have to ride two more hours to get to Rize. Thankfully the bus travels at nighttime so we would occupy our time sleeping. However, it's difficult to be comfortable enough to dooze off. The seats were uncomfortable for a 12 hour ride. I was wide awake - sitting between Aziza and Yilderay. Aziza had drifted off to sleep, as did Yilderay. I had brought a book with me just for moments like these where sleep was impossible. I didn't want to read though. I just sat facing the sleeping Yilderay. He had an unusually shaped mouth. It was wide from the sides and tapered in the middle. Sensuous. His cheeks appeared caved in, not because he was thin, but because that was the frame of his face. Like an artist chiseled a bit too much off of his creation.

An hour had gone by as I examined Yilderay's face. Then his eyes opened. He slowly turned his head to face mine when all of a sudden, the bus driver slams down on the brakes and turns into a bus shelter/stop. It's time for a break.

Aziza and a few others on the bus are asleep. Those who are awake exit the bus to stretch, buy food, smoke a cig. Yilderay motions for me to follow him outside. We have a smoke. We try to communicate as best we could without an intermediary. He had told me that these bus breaks usually last from 15 minutes to a half hour. Then he grabbed my hand and rushed me to the back of the bus shelter. When we got to the back of the bus shelter, he pushed me against the wall, not forceful enough to hurt me but forceful enough to wake me up from this dream I'm having right now.

Sigh...fantasy can be so cruel!

[Kikhwa]

That previous post was a result of my continuous yearning for my avdentures in Turkey! :cry: :love: :( :love: :cry:

[Kikhwa]

Due to Miss B's peer pressure, I finally gots me a myspace.com account.

http://myspace.com/kikhwa

[Kikhwa]

I don't have to buy gifts for too many people this year. I've just got my aunt, me mum, my sisters, and my evil grandmonster to buy for.

I don't know what to get for any of the above except for my sisters. The plan is to get them tickets to see this smashing musical called Wicked. http://www.wickedthemusical.com/

Now I'm no fan of musicals in general. Hearing dialogue in song is like listening to my g-ma and her old bag lady friends lament and whine. However, the story of musical is pretty clever. It's about what really happened prior to Dorothy's adventure in Oz. It tells the story of the friendship between Glinda the Good Witch of the North and Elphaba the Wicked Witch of the West, as well as explaining why the cowardly lion was cowardly, etc.

The price for good seats are going to force me to sell my brother and my grandmother. But I think it will be worth it.

http://www.joelcomm.com/wicked.jpg

[Kikhwa]

I really wish we could leave comments on other people's blogs.

[Teffo]

you can stella :)

[Kikhwa]

You could because you're a moderator. Only mods and admins can post on other people's blogskis.

:eh: :(

[Kikhwa]

I damn near died laughing when I saw this.

http://www.compfused.com/directlink/1077/

Thanks Andy!

[Kikhwa]

True Love

-----

We really have to understand the person we want to love. If our love is only a will to possess, it is not love. If we only think of ourselves, if we know only our own needs and ignore the needs of the other person, we cannot love.

Thich Nhat Hanh

-----

In my not so humble opinion:

In order for real love to exist and flourish in a relationship, there has to be a mutual desire to make the other person happy. Whether it be telling a lame ass joke to get a giggle out of you when you're down and they just don't feel like it or not dashing to the bathroom to brush your teeth after swallowing - that want(-tonness, teehee) has to be there.

The monkey that I end up with (if I ever do end up with someone) will be one happy, lucky sumunabitch because by nature I am a giver. That desire to make him happy is ingrained in my brains, guts, and heart. What I worry about is the lack of that same desire for my happiness in him.

Love ain't as easy as easy as I'm becoming. (JK, for all those who gasped in shame. :roll: )

[Kikhwa]

Mad Materialist

I was never much of a shopper in college. Probably because I wasn't making all that cold hard cash I'm making now. <insert rolling eyed emoticon here> Evenso, I didn't have the patience nor could I be bothered with keeping up with fashion trends. I was on a anti-materialistic kick, being into social justice and helping the poor and all. However, that's not to say I was a poor dresser.

Things have changed.

I can't control myself now.

One of the NY & Company stores is closing at one particular mall here in Chicago so they marked everything in the store 70% off. Everything. Now I normally don't shop at NY & Co. because it's too conservative for me. It's all suits and jackets and turtle necks. Perfect for the person I ended up getting in the family Secret Santa drawing. I wasn't planning on busting out $150 on myself, I swear. This place has really snazzed up their merchandise lately. Instead of the bland Miranda (circa Sex and the City Vol. 1 episode 2) suits, they had Carrie skirts and Samantha tops everywhere!

I ended up getting 3 skirts, 4 tops, 2 track suits, a purse, and 4 pairs of boyshorts.

So much for campaigning to close down sweat shops. How about giving those people a raise? Hmm?

[Kikhwa]

I just moved back to Michigan to help take care of my parents. My dad has been diagnosed with Dementia, which is the first stage of Alzheimer's disease and is getting worse by the day. My mom has been diagnosed with a Bi-polar condition. Between the two of them its a mad house! I use my humor to stay sane. I am working on a whole new act based on the current events in my family. If anyone has any insight to these disease, please share your thoughts.

Nibras, I just read your blog and I must say that your amazing and it goes beyond your comedy.

[Kikhwa]

It's official ya'll. I've got the dag gum flu.

I awoke today to a clogged nose and was gasping for breath because my throat was under Phlegm's relentless chokehold. As I tried to get up from my bed, I felt like my grandmother on a good day- old, tired and praying for death.

It's my fault though. I had a mild cold that ended a few days ago. I promised myself to start taking vee-tah-meen-aht everyday after I get better. I got better one day and went boozing that same night. Vitamin V(odka) kicked my ass.

Now I lay in midst of a damp, bacteria infested moutain of Kleenex trying to hold back intestinal pressure of biblical proportions. Did I forget to mention that my flu is accompanied by a mild (HA!) case of diarrhia?

It gets worse.

My family has guests over right now. There isn't even a decent place in this house to take a shit in peace. Even when we don't have guests over, there is always someone within earshot!

Why, GOD, why torture your favorite child like this?

P.S. I think I'm gonna rag soon.

[Kikhwa]

http://www.kahunavideo.com/images/Old_woman_on_the_beach_in_Cuco.JPG

I'm turning 26 in less than two weeks.

[Kikhwa]

Congratulations to Wacky Iraqi for passing his realtor's exam!

:thumbsup: :applause: :jive:

[Kikhwa]

I need to build my writing resume up and faster. I wonder if any employers would consider my ChaldoChat posts credible works of writing. 8)

[Kikhwa]

Well, I feel like a bloated sumo wrestler. And I look like two.

What the ****.

Everyday it's become a struggle to find something to wear that fits and looks decent on me.

I am really putting my foot down and joining a gym. It's about time I slimmed down, felt good and looked exceptionally fabulous in tight and revealing clothing.

I WANT TO DRESS LIKE A WHORE FOR ONCE IN MY LIFE!

[Kikhwa]

This is my last day as a 25 year old.

The panic has cemented itself in my body and mind.

I never thought I would worry about aging. Never once contemplated fine lines, botox and eyelifts. Nor did I ever really fret over grey hairs.

Lately, I've been in the bathroom for the majority of the time I'm at home, with my face pressed up against the mirror inspecting for fine lines and other age-induced imperfections. I've found 9 fine lines in various places and 4 grey hairs.

If I'm decomposing like this on the outside, who the hell knows what's going on inside. I think I smell my eggs rotting. Anyone wanna reproduce?

Curse the likes of InStyle, Glamour, Vogue, Elle, Allure, and all of Hollywood.

Bury me for ****'s sake.

[Kikhwa]

http://www.gutart.rit.se/M_hjart/heart03.jpg

Valentine’s Day is my favorite holiday. I love everything about it from the red hearts to the cheesy flowers and teddy bears people give each other, to the sappy love songs that ring through my single ears. It all warms my heart.

V-day is generally associated with romantic loOoOoOove. I’ve learned to disconnect the holiday from such a narrow categorization. I shower my sisters with love on this day like I do other days except I add a little candy and some other gifts to their day. Although they are still very young, I don’t want my sisters to think that they’ll end up as old rotten spinsters if they aren’t coupled on this day of all days. Love does exist in forms other than the romantic or the amorous.

[Kikhwa]

Janice: I've got the perfect girl for you!

Jeremy Grey: [sigh] Janice, I apologize to you if I don't seem real eager to jump into a forced awkward intimate situation that people like to call dating. I don't like the feeling. You're sitting there, you're wondering do I have food on my face, am I eating, am I talking too much, are they talking enough, am I interested I'm not really interested, should I play like I'm interested but I'm not that interested but I think she might be interested but do I want to be interested but now she's not interested? So all of the sudden I'm getting, I'm starting to get interested... And when am I supposed to kiss her? Do I have to wait for the door cause then it's awkward, it's like well goodnight. Do you do like that ass-out hug? Where you like, you hug each other like this and your ass sticks out cause you're trying not to get too close or do you just go right in and kiss them on the lips or don't kiss them at all? It's very difficult trying to read the situation. And all the while you're just really wondering are we gonna get hopped up enough to make some bad decisions? Perhaps play a little game called "just the tip". Just for a second, just to see how it feels. Or, ouch, ouch you're on my hair.

Janice: Okay...

Jeremy Grey: OK, can you, can you put that so he can't see it? Thank you. Hey, Janice... great talk.

---

Probably the best line in the whole movie (Wedding Crashers).

[Kikhwa]

I'm feeling an unhealthy 26. I've been waking up to debilitating back pains that should be part of the life of someone with scoliosis - NOT ME. It feels like the vertebrates of my spine are playing their own version of musical chairs.

Those ****ers have teamed up with my side (I'm feelin' a kidney problem coming along) to wreak havoc on my daily life.

I'm too damn young for this crap.

[Kikhwa]

Life is good. Life is good. Life is good. Life is good. Life is good. Life is good. Life is good. Life is good. Life is good. Life is good.

--

I think I've convinced myself.

[Kikhwa]

In the 90s, Hollywood made it seem like there were only two words in the Arabic language: yallah and Allah.

The occasional “habibi” was thrown in here and there. Incidently, Hollywood’s real power duo, executive producers Harvey and Robert Weinstein, two of the stalest Jews weren’t even the culprits. The Siege, True Lies and Rules of Engagement were several movies from random producers that perpetuated several negative Middle Eastern stereotypes and anti-Arab sentiment.

The tables have turned.

There is now a television show turned movie from Turkey called The Valley of the Wolves. This movie is based on an actual event that happened in Northern Iraq on July 4th 2003. Read about it here: http://www.valleyofthewolvesiraq.com/

This movie has incited anti-American sentiment by depicting the US forces as hungry power mongers who traipse onto the scene and try to take over. It shows the supposed carelessness and neglect for the human rights and dignity of Iraqis by the US soldiers. It shows US soldiers murdering civilians, dishonoring soldiers, etc.

I wonder what the reaction will be like when the movie opens here.

[Kikhwa]

Holy crap, ya'll. I haven't written in this blog in over 4 months. There hasn't really been much to tell you other than I'm menstruating.

And I'm super duper extatic that Italy won the World Cup. To be honest, none of the teams this year were extraordinary in performance. However they made up for it in their handsome faces and fine physiques.

Exhibit A: Portugal's Ronaldo

http://us.news1.yimg.com/us.yimg.com/i/fifa/gen/fifa/20060227/i/3447091329.jpg
Exhibit B: Italy's Gattuso

http://us.news1.yimg.com/us.yimg.com/i/fifa/gen/fifa/20060702/i/241208855.jpg

Exhibit C: Italy's Cannavaro

http://us.news1.yimg.com/us.yimg.com/i/fifa/gen/afp/20060524/i/3418497953.jpg

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Long live the game!