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Old 07-29-2010, 02:28 AM   #1
aycarumba
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ugh dating american style

So, I recently broke up w/ my Chaldean bf. He was talking about marriage and I am not ready for that. I'm in my early 20's!!!!
Anyway, I decided to date non-seriously for the first time in my life (Crazy @ this age, I know HAHA). I met this gorgeous Italian goofball and things were going great so far. EXCEPT today he said "I think you probably want to marry a Chaldean guy" (true) "and I don't want to be the guy who's just for fun" (he was supposed to be just for fun D: ) "so there is no point of dating you when you're not gonna be w/ me.... so do you think you're gonna marry a Chaldean guy?" I was like "I don't know. I'm taking it day-by-day!" I was SHOCKED! I didn't expect him to be thinking about marriage. He's only 26!

UGH! I don't want to marry him, BUT I want to keep him for now though!! Should I a) not waste his time and tell him I don't see us getting married? This will be really sad for me. b) tell him later on before things get more serious but we have our fun now

Oh we work together so if we break up, it'll be pretty awkward.

Sorry this was so long!! <3

BTW, I'm new! =) I came here to present my lil dilemma.
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Old 07-29-2010, 08:17 AM   #2
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Well you know he cares about this because he brought it up. 26 is not old but it's not young either, many guys are serious at that age. I think the best thing to do is be honest with him and with yourself. If you know that you will not end up with him, don't mislead him. Also, if you're misleading him you are misleading yourself too. Don't think that you are safe from getting hurt in the process, even if you break up with him later. I know dating is fun but it's better for you if you stick with guys that at least have some potential.
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Old 07-29-2010, 12:42 PM   #3
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Thanks!! <3 I know he cares bc he was waiting two YEARS to break up w/ my bf. Aww =( I like that he's sweet and I'm a sucker for sweet guys. You're right about picking guys w/ potential though. I mean, even if he was Chaldean, I would not consider marrying him. I'm just wasting time I guess... =( This is gonna hurt...
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Old 07-30-2010, 12:59 AM   #4
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I don't think you should set your life goal on marrying a chaldean man, you'll run into a lot of trouble as you are right now. Break up with him, he sounds to sweet to be played by someone who isn't serious.
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Old 07-30-2010, 07:39 PM   #5
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Hmmm... is he a muscle hunk?

If so I'd take him for a ride (if you get my drift) before breaking it off. Italian men can be fun and I'd say go for it before you break it off. Most men can't resist a good rump around and I doubt he'd refuse if you offered.

Theres nothing wrong with having a little bit of fun inbetween relationships. At least, that's the way I see things.
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Old 07-31-2010, 05:50 AM   #6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by aycarumba View Post
So, I recently broke up w/ my Chaldean bf. He was talking about marriage and I am not ready for that. I'm in my early 20's!!!!
Anyway, I decided to date non-seriously for the first time in my life (Crazy @ this age, I know HAHA). I met this gorgeous Italian goofball and things were going great so far. EXCEPT today he said "I think you probably want to marry a Chaldean guy" (true) "and I don't want to be the guy who's just for fun" (he was supposed to be just for fun D: ) "so there is no point of dating you when you're not gonna be w/ me.... so do you think you're gonna marry a Chaldean guy?" I was like "I don't know. I'm taking it day-by-day!" I was SHOCKED! I didn't expect him to be thinking about marriage. He's only 26!

UGH! I don't want to marry him, BUT I want to keep him for now though!! Should I a) not waste his time and tell him I don't see us getting married? This will be really sad for me. b) tell him later on before things get more serious but we have our fun now

Oh we work together so if we break up, it'll be pretty awkward.

Sorry this was so long!! <3
Jean Mercie O'Connell Sha'aouni (Sami's Wife) she suicided not him...
BTW, I'm new! =) I came here to present my lil dilemma.
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$$$

Last edited by mariahybu; 07-31-2010 at 05:50 AM. Reason: Automerged Doublepost
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Old 07-31-2010, 02:41 PM   #7
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He has 23 inch arms, is over 6 feet tall, and pecs to die for. *swoons* HEHE
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Old 08-01-2010, 10:37 AM   #8
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I think it's funny that you think early 20s is too young to be thinking about marriage. In a few more years you'll be out of your prime.

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Old 08-01-2010, 11:25 AM   #9
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Quote:
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He has 23 inch arms, is over 6 feet tall, and pecs to die for. *swoons* HEHE
Yum.
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I think it's funny that you think early 20s is too young to be thinking about marriage. In a few more years you'll be out of your prime.

She's only 22. She has plenty of time. I think 28 is a good age to get married.

PS: most women will not reach their sexual peak until their mid to late 30's while most men reach theres in their 20's.
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Last edited by Enrico; 08-01-2010 at 11:25 AM. Reason: Automerged Doublepost
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Old 08-01-2010, 12:07 PM   #10
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She's only 22. She has plenty of time. I think 28 is a good age to get married.
If you aren't chaldean.
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Old 08-01-2010, 03:00 PM   #11
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Quote:
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If you aren't chaldean.
If you still have that boater mentallity I suppose...
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Old 08-01-2010, 05:13 PM   #12
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If you only want to talk to guys for fun, Then you should look for guys that are looking for the same thing as you. Because what your doing there is just misleading him, and also wasting time. So it's better to be honest about the whole situation and tell him what your in for. before it goes too far, and than one of you gets hurt.
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Old 08-01-2010, 10:20 PM   #13
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WOW I didn't expect this many responses. =O Anyway, I now know to break it off "soon." I'm just trying to figure out something to soften the blow. Plus, I sort of hinted it to him just last night. Eek!

I'm not worried about some sort of "peak." I'm more focused on trying to get into medical school than on marriage. HTH.
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Old 08-01-2010, 10:59 PM   #14
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I'm more focused on trying to get into medical school than on marriage. HTH.
just a heads up, u won't have much time for a relationship until 4th year. first 2 years are hitting the books like crazy, and 3rd year is rotations with crazy hours. stick with it tho because i've seen too many chaldeans stop pursuing med school because they think it's too hard. you have to be willing to put it before relationships and even friends.
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Old 08-02-2010, 02:38 AM   #15
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have lots of sex
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Old 08-02-2010, 10:10 PM   #16
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have lots of sex
This.
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Old 08-08-2010, 09:42 PM   #17
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Quote:
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just a heads up, u won't have much time for a relationship until 4th year. first 2 years are hitting the books like crazy, and 3rd year is rotations with crazy hours. stick with it tho because i've seen too many chaldeans stop pursuing med school because they think it's too hard. you have to be willing to put it before relationships and even friends.
I'm already aware of that. =)
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have lots of sex
I'll take note of this one day...
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Old 08-09-2010, 11:05 AM   #18
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Just curious as to why u call this type of dating "American Style" or was that the 1st thing that came to your mind when u wrote this topic?
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Old 08-12-2010, 12:36 AM   #19
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You want to keep him? wtf is he a ****ing puppy? Tell you what, here is what you need to do: 1) Do some growing up, you need it, 2) Do some more growing up, i can tell that youre a failure, so try again, 3) repeat steps 1 and 2, and 4) if youre lucky enough, youll find someone that can stand you. Well, Good luck : )
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